#762 · Oct 18, 2021
Nikki: Ahh!
Johnny: What?
Nikki: Nothing, nothing. Just saw something disturbing. Finish your story.
Johnny: So that button is where Auntie Pearl's emergency brake is! ...What did you see?
Nikki: Oh! Just roadkill..
Johnny: What kind of roadkill?
Nikki: Oh it was weird... I don't really wanna disturb you too -- ok it was a deer's head. Just the head, nothing else.
Johnny: A deer's head?? Wow. I wonder how it got there.
Nikki: I dunno. Maybe it got hit by a car and the head fell off?
Johnny: [in a British accent] 'e was wearin' a helmet but 'is 'ead come off!'

[ Origin of what he was quoting can be found here: https://youtu.be/vc82cy7ImRY ]
#466 · May 15, 2013
(When the opening band walked on stage during a concert)
Curtis: What's this band called?
Lyndsey: The Virgins
(Alex notices the band's appearance)
Alex: Yep, story checks out!
#334 · Mar 2, 2010
Miklos: Then in the elevator, it was me, Carolyn from accounting, Bonnie, me... Costy, and me. No wait, Costy wasn't there.
Nikki: Well I'm glad you were there to retell the story...
#237 · Jan 12, 2009
Curtis: i forgot to tell you the story on how when i went to buy spiderman, the cashier forgot to put my gift card through, so she had to reverse it on my m/c to charge me again, and the new price was the amount of the gift card and so i saved 10 bucks
Curtis: wanna hear it?
Alex: yes
Curtis: ok, well when i went to buy spiderman, the cashier forgot to put my gift card through, so she had to reverse it on my m/c to charge me again, and the new price was the amount of the gift card and so i saved 10 bucks
Alex: haha nice!
#231 · Dec 22, 2008
Curtis: paul said to kill time i should write a poem or short story,
Curtis: so i asked him to list 5 random things to be included, then i proceeded to write
Curtis: would you like to see the final product?
Miklos: ok
--------------------
Short story that includes: Magnesium Alloy AZ31, the Ocean, China, Canada, General Motors
Once upon a time (when else would it be?), there was an accountant who decided he wanted his life to
encompass dual careers. Half his time would be spent on accounting, while the other half would pursue
science. I mean, what accountant wouldn't have this dream? The problem was, he didn't know where to
start. Should he go to school? Should he google everything? Should he steal patented information? It was
all quite the dilemma, till one day while banging his head on his desk trying to decide...he saw the answer
right in front of him. He saw his encylopeida opened to a page about Magnesium Alloy AZ31. He had no
idea what that was, nor could he understand the jargon in the description, but there was something about
that name that seemed cool and important. He decided to take this information to his buddy in China who
happens to be one of those genius monks you find on top of mountains. The monk told him that this
information will not be found anywhere except in the encyclopedia that he possessed. The accountant
wondered how in the world he ended up with such rare information. The monk was actually unsure, but
continued to tell a story of lost treasure. Apparently, back in the day, a treasure hunter was on a secret
mission to find some undisclosed treasure. He left on this mission and never returned, but a few years later,
random scuba divers found an empty treasure chest at the bottom of Canada's Pacific Ocean. The
accountant never knew his father...could this have been him? Did he leave behind this treasure? The monk
suggested that if he left behind the encyclopedia, chances are that some magnesium alloy AZ31 was also left
behind. The accountant went home and checked his house, and sure enough he found an unusual substance
in a dusty box in his basement. He thought to himself that with how rare this is, it must be worth a fortune to someone.
He wasn't sure who to go to with this, but his first instinct led him to General Motors. Upon a
science guy there observing the MA AZ31 and its description, he was stunned. He brought it to the
attention of management and they immediately issued a bagillion dollar cheque to the accountant and shortly
afterward hired back all the bagillion people they previously laid off. The accountant never found out what
kind of wonders this thing actually brought to GM, and realized that such chain of events didn't end up
having anything to do with pursuing science, but he realized that if it weren't for banging his head on his desk
figuring out how to pursue science, he would have never ended up rich upon this fluke discovery.
--------------------
Paul: hahahaha I love it
Paul: this exceeded my expectations 10 fold!
Paul: now for the real story
Paul: So Mg AZ31 stems from primary Magnesium which is actually derived from the ocean
Paul: using a pigeon process, which, developed in Canada or the US (not sure) is quite labour intensive and so its done mainly in China
Paul: GM, wants to use Magnesium in their cars, beacuse Magnesium is quite lite and will save fuel
Paul: however, regular magnesium is flammable, so the AZ31 derivative from Magnesium is to be used because its quite stable
Paul: but your story is so much better.
Curtis: i had no idea all these items were related
Paul: yeah, I actually just thought of a single thought, and wrote down ever other word basically
Paul: I planned on telling you after you wrote your story
#192 · Jun 4, 2008
miklos: so i put on a tie on monday, right?
miklos: and i'm like... wtf the back of this is too short to go through the little loop
miklos: so the back end of it was just hanging there
miklos: i decided to get one of my dad's tie clips to hold them together
miklos: the first thing was yelling into my sister's room "google 'tie clip proper position'..."
miklos: "two thirds of the way down"
miklos: "ok thanks"
miklos: .. i ended up not even wearing the clip
miklos: moral of the story: please don't take away google.
dave: that's nuts
dave: i don't know how people lived before google
dave: jenna and i bought rainbow trout, and didn't realize that we didn't know how to cook it until we got it home....
dave: again, google saved us
miklos: see... if it weren't for google, I'd have looked like a slob that day, and you'd probably have died of hunger.
#117 · Sep 13, 2007
Dave: my little story takes place at a tropical villa
Dave: i fell in love with a flavour, yes it was vanilla
Dave: miiiiiiinnnnnnnniiiiiiiiii wheats wheats wheats i wanted vanilla for so long
Dave: mini wheats wheats, wheats, it's high in fiber you can't go wrong
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat put it together it can't be beat
Dave: vanilla flavour mixed with wheat tastes so good, what a treat
Dave: new vanilla mini wheats cereal!!!
Dave: tastes so good good good!
Dave: good advertisement like that actually works
Miklos: are you saying it does work?
Dave: yeah, definitely, do you want mini wheats after reading my jingle
Dave: ?
Miklos: as a matter of fact, yes.